The Arena
by Mocheezemo
Summary: All the little details that make a great tournament. Are Merrils really dangerous? Why have two princesses who look alike? Don't forget to Fairy! Chapter Four: Can't escape it!
1. Pacifist My Ass!

**Heyo, this is Moceezemo; the Duel account. This is the second posting of The Arena, and it's now perminant home. We hope those of you who read the Original Arena were able to find this, if not, I'm talking to dead air!**

**Either way, please enjoy. Although relativly plotless, we do hope you find the comedy to be well delivered. Many of the instances in this story (the plotless ones at least) are taken from real in-game experiences between the authors and their friends. Have fun.**

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_**The Arena**_

**Chapter 1**

Pacifist My Ass

All about the stadium, the lights were blazoning milky white as they flared about the wide, open-air expanse. Thousands upon thousands of otherworldly beings filling the seats and cheering with the words which flashed blindingly across the massive screens positioned so each individual spectator could watch.

A massively huge hologram hung in the center of the stadium far above the lone platform. Five sided it was, allowing swarms of small tickers to blazon across the four displayed faces of the next round's competitors. Placing their bets and hoping to take home a princely sum for their gambles.

The faces of two young men, one with midnight blue hair crowned in gold, another with fiery red locks kept back with a bandana were to face off with two other opponents in a one-stock free for all survival match. The two men wore similar outfits, long, volumous capes which obscured their light frames and made them appear larger than they truly were. The third opponent was a man dressed in dark blue overalls with a green hat and shirt, a thick, bristly mustache positioned under his bulbous nose.

The fourth opponent was the one receiving the most tickers under his name, a hooked black nose under two glitteringly dark eyes. A shock of crimson hair kept back with ornate golden clips, a shimmering ruby crowning his forehead. Head to toe in black leathers and thick hides, a slow, strong warrior with a golden power imbedded in his left hand…

High over the roaring, faceless crowds of the expansive coliseum, a large, private booth hung. Lined with seats which were noticeably more comfortable than those of the paying spectators, a large buffet was table stretched along the back wall whereas the one before the seats was of solid glass. For all that the distance between both and battle ground were and always would be great, the box was undoubtedly one of the best seats in the house, as for some reason the spectators within were always able to see every little detail of every match.

The box was more or less empty at the moment, only two of the nearly thirty competitors in the annual competition currently watching the preparations for the next match.

"Bidding on the underdog?" The young man asked; his knees hooked over the arm of his plush, comfortable chair. His blond head resting against the shoulder of the woman seated next to him, a long, pointed green cap twirling in his hands as her fingers absently comb through his hair. Sleepy blue eyes gaze down towards the arena lazily, one arm in a sling from a hard sprain in an earlier match.

"Oh, I'm not sure…" His companion answered, looking down at the sprawled Hero for a moment as the hidden announcer begins working the crowd into a frenzy all around them. Within the box however it's rather quite, the noise blocked off until the two spectators within choose to allow it to intrude on their conversation. "Luigi's likely to have a difficult time however, unless he's really into things today."

"So long as neither the Prince or the Sorcerer win…" He replied bitterly, earning himself a gentle smile from the Princess on whom he was leaning.

"You don't like Marth very much, do you?" She asked curiously, twirling a lock of her own copper-gold hair between her fingers as he let his head slip from her shoulder until it would have been resting in her lap if not for the arm rest. It hurt his neck ever so slightly, but it allowed him a better view of her face as he scowled slightly.

"No."

"I didn't think so…"

The conversation continued on in a similar matter for some time, until at long last the announcer was content with the amount of absolute chaos brewing within the crowd, and at long last the battle was on. However, for all that they had the best seats in the stadium, and there was some general interest on his part in watching two personal enemies- one of whom was a tad more hate-worthy than the other- attempt to beat the absolute living snot out of one another, the pair didn't generally pay much attention to the event.

In order, the first competitor sent spiraling from the platform which had taken the shape of a green field- ever changing with the additions of a windmill, forest fire, etc, was a disgruntled Altean Prince. A few snide remarks flittered through the air in the calm box at this, then a bit of wicked laughter and finally some half-hearted words of admonishment.

Sent spiraling from the platform in flames was the fire-haired general a few minutes later, and a low whistle followed by polite clapping for the plumber who'd sent the armored boy into elimination.

"Well, he's certainly into it today." The Princess commented, nudging the bruised Hero who was finally sitting properly in his seat, leaning on his good arm as he watched the fight with a smile tugging at his lips. The match was turning out to be rather exciting actually.

"Oh, wait, no…" He groaned, losing his smile and leaning back against the chair in disappointment. The Princess scanned the screen and likewise sat with her back completely against the chair.

Before them the pair watched as the green-clad plumber's foot stepped down onto a small glowing green pad, the angry look on his face doing little more than appear comical as he was abruptly engulfed in flames and sent rocketing off across the arena. A similar mine detonated as he streaked over it, and the poor man's shrieks of pain, frustration, and perhaps even a bit of fear echoed through the stadium over the awed shrieks of the crowd. He flew so far beyond the stadium limits the plumber was little more than a speck on the hologram backdrop before the announcer finally boomed, "GAME!" over the sound system.

"It was going so well, too…" the Princess sighed, as displeased as the man at her elbow that the Gerudo sorcerer had indeed won the match. The hawk-nosed, jewel clad brute flexing his burly muscles as his hands glittered with dark energies. Even though they hadn't lost, his victory left a bitter taste in both their mouths.

"Wait… what's that!?" Standing suddenly, the Hero strode up to the box window, sleepy blue eyes widening as the large screens high above the arena began listing the match's end information. Pictures of all four opponents were visible, their sizes ranging from large to small depending on each participant's ranking, the three losers politely applauding the winner as the crowd cheered and screamed it's appreciation for the senseless, censored violence.

What had caught the Hero's eye, however, and what quickly drew the complete and utter attention of his Princess, was the bonus scores. Rolling through each participant's stats at a slow rate so as to allow everyone ample time to read them –and both to prepare the next opponents and allow those who'd bid money to collect their winnings- were the corresponding values of points awarded based on technique and skill.

One such award, was labeled pacifist. To win without inflicting direct injury upon any opponents, no physical or magical strikes of any method or manner. And the judges had awarded this bonus unto a beast who- before being tamed by the Arena- had choked the very life out of countless innocents across the world of Hyrule and other lands. A being who had stolen the power of the gods and wielded it with sheer brutality and hostility. Ganondorf, the Gerudo Lord, the Dark King and Harbinger of destruction…

Had been labeled a fucking _**pacifist!?**_

"That-that-that-!!"

"That's not possible!"

"Not right!"

"How in the nine hells did he-!?"

"It's a scam!"

"They rigged it!"

"They're all blind!!"

Finally, Hero and Princess reached a consensus.

"That's fucking cheap!"


	2. Hi, Mario!

**This next chapter is based off of the victory image of Luigi after beating his All Star Challenge. Like chapter 1, this is another chapter which was originally written only by Sunny. Don't worry, our co-lab chapters will be coming up soon!**

**Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 2**

Hi, Mario!

The massive mixture of hologram technology and sturdily engineered terrain could make even the most exotic locations come immediately to life. Even the endless droning of the crowd became little more than the scream of the waterfall, chilly spray mixing with the heavy jungle heat as log platforms tilted and swerved on their rope and wooden supports.

Oh, but sometimes he wondered if he wasn't becoming too old for this sort of thing. It was a cause for mild embarrassment that his older brother never saw the need for much rest or recuperation. Honestly, his brother was a born socialite, always talking to people, always making them laugh and bending over backwards to please. He never wanted to stay home, loathed the mediocrity which kept his younger brother alive sometimes, always jumping head-first into things.

His brother was different however, the younger brother, twins they were, true, and Luigi was far taller than his brother, but regardless he was still the younger one. Through some unwritten law since their childhood this had always meant that the calmer, quieter twin needed to constantly be dragged around performing all sorts of insane stunts. Personally, he liked his inventions more than running around making a mess of everything.

But, would Mario ever see things his way? Of bloody-well-course not! It was the same every year as well, they'd bicker and argue for days on end about the Smash Competition. Luigi never balked at the idea of attending, they'd made many friends over the years and he was more than willing to part from his tinkering and mediocre lifestyle to spend a few weeks each year being a bit more like his brother. What the two butted heads on was actual participation, and how the younger brother didn't want to have anything to do with that anymore. If it hadn't been downright true that without his younger brother's sturdy, clear-minded approach to fighting and competition that Mario would have somehow found a way to totally destroy himself or someone else in the arena… Well, Luigi would have been perfectly content to simply remain a spectator for the whole bloody event.

And of course, as luck would have it, they were never damn well paired together anyways. So it was a complete and utter waste of time for him to compete, and the only advantage for him was being able to out-jump, out-run and out-reach, his normally dominant brother. But Oh-Sweet-Shine what an advantage it was…

A Timed Teams Battle on the raging jungle river was the current scenario, the scenery strangely alien to the competitors as the feeling of eerie weightlessness vanished and each was doped off under or above certain positions on the stage.

A large, dragon-like tortes with shocking red hair and a yellow maw, teeth, claws, and shell-spikes all glittering white, landed on the far right edge of the rickety raft, threatening with his weight to shatter the entire ledge. His slitted black eyes scanned the stage in a blood-thirsty manner, rumbling lowly in his chest as he regained his balance after the awkwardness of the teleport.

Above him on a smaller platform which hung over the main level, a familiar stocky form all dressed in red. His scruffy brown hair and mustache similar to the sort he himself sported. It seemed ironic for his brother and the vicious Koopa to be paired together for their match.

Directly across from the older brother was the younger, and he glanced back over his shoulder briefly to make sure his partner had arrived safely. He didn't need to worry, feeling the platform creek and bend in anguish as the second-heaviest Competitor planted his flat feet down on the boards. The massive ape with his shaggy roan fur and oddly well kept red tie was beyond the full sight of the younger twin, but with a series of high yelps and hoots, they were ready to begin.

"Go!"

As another unwritten rule since the brothers had begun participating in the tournament, when pitted against one another they were generally always left to their own devices. And this time, that was alright with him, as he had few wants or wishes to face off against the angry flames of the mortified tortes; Bowser would be in a right dangerous mood, paired up with his enemy as he was. The entire stage shook and sagged dangerously as the two titans rushed forwards and met in the middle, fur and flame flying as they grappled at one another in a mad, violent frenzy.

As one, the Brothers took to the air, and jumped straight towards one another. Regrettably, his brother was a tad predictable to one who'd fought him often during childhood over silly, brotherly quarrels. They leapt forwards, but as his red brother began to twist sharply in the air to draw him into a dangerous and painful attack, the younger one faked him out. He twisted in mid-air, gaining some unknown form of momentum as he placed his ankles firmly together. Again he regretted his growing age as he snapped his head back, flipping head-over-heels four times at least before leveling out a good deal higher and farther away from his brother than before.

Not wasting time for the breath which may have quelled the sudden ache in his lower back from the acrobatics, the younger brother drew his arms and legs in close. His mind instantly felt a blank calm, and then a sudden, blindingly hot flash of fire shot through his veins. Going rigid in the air, his head was pointed at his brother's prone form, and like a shot the younger, enflamed sibling, was firing through the air with shocking speed.

This was to be a remarkably short match, only a solitary minute of violence allotted as the fight was an unexpected one. The small boy, two electric mice, and the competition's other set of twins had been scheduled to duke it out for a solid five minutes, but fate had thrown that plan to hell. The twins were sick in bed with measles, the smaller of the two electric creatures had gotten itself caught in an air duct after a dare had gone wrong, and the small psychic boy had gotten himself in deathly trouble with the brothers' own Princess after ignoring his homework for the past several weeks.

His head hurt, but at least the strike sent his stocky brother flying a pleasantly far distance.

Finding the strength to hold his body firm in the air as he fell backwards to the platform he'd begun from, the older man just narrowly avoided impalement as the enraged bulk of Bowser rocketed a hair's breath away from his nose on a skyward pass. The tortes roared in unmitigated hatred as he was sent spiraling far beyond the boundaries of the arena. Already, the match was almost over.

His brother did not end up falling all the way to the bottom boundary however. Huffing and puffing, the younger brother sprinted forwards and paid his aching knees no mind as he dropped from the higher platform to the main level where his team mate was jeering the crowd into a higher level of excitement than before.

Thankfully, the flushed look on his brother's face could easily be seen as one of numb exertion, and he was clinging with only one gloved hand to the edge of the rocking and rolling platform. His somewhat heavy brother didn't seem to have the instant strength the haul himself back up after the flight and battle to return.

"Hi, Mario…"

"Luigi! Don't be coy!" His brother puffed and huffed hysterically, fully expecting an orb of green fire to the nose to send him overboard. Well now, his brother wasn't so low as that, one did not attack another man when he was unable to defend, especially not when it's one's older, dominant brother…

Older brother who always pulls you into stupid situations like this one…

He didn't attack him, he merely followed the old rules of their childhood; he was the submissive one after all. He was the one who liked too tinker with his pipes and blocks and think of creative little courses and obstacles. He wasn't a great fan of confrontation or needless boasting, of course he could fight, but it wasn't something he lived for.

So, in keeping to the rules of their life and relationship, he clasped his hands behind his back, lowered his head, and-

"_**LUIGI!**_"

"Bye, Mario…"

-placed a timid kick right on the bastard's knuckles, causing his overweight, slow, short and insanely irritating older brother, to drop right out of sight through the mists of the waterfall.

Bowser returned before the match concluded, Mario received Angelic Bonus points for ending the match on the revival platform.

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**It's so much more amusing if you just think of the brothers using that strong Italian accent when speaking.**


	3. Fairy THIS!

**No, Matters isn't anywhere near dead, I'm over a third of the way into chapter 20, this story's just really fun to write xD **

**I keep meaning to add my Ode to Zelda chapter, but it's constantly being pushed back. I might start to slack off with some of the detail concerning the actual arena- not the stage just the arena- since it'd be a bit boring to constantly reiterate that it's holograms, but meh. **

**This next scene is one that's happened numerous times to my friends and I… Enjoy.**

**Chapter 3 **

Fairy _This!_

Patience and calm are the root of near every duelist's skill and ability.

"Fairy!"

Being able too focus on tasks before oneself and block out the raging noise and distraction of the world are key to unlocking true strength and power.

"Aaaahh… Fairy!"

In the roaring heat of a fabricated volcano, a monstrous creature flailing madly in the background with razor claws which look strong enough to cleave through stone, maintaining composure and one's footing are prominent concerns.

"Fairy-ha!"

But by every malevolent deity whom ever could have cursed a single realm with its existence, he was reaching his utmost limits of endurance!

"Fairy!"

His thick, globular tail was rigid with mounting impatience, curved cat-like feet hovering just over the coarse rocky ground of the spinning battleground. In truth, his mind's eye could see through the illusions of light and sound, watch the churning metal pieces which made up the colossal stadium.

"Fairied again!!"

But as things stood now, he could hardly focus his unparalleled abilities on keeping himself out of harm's way. Two of his three opponents remained in this survival match, and he himself had suffered pitifully thus far with only one of his remaining lives permitting him to compete further.

Year after year he was goaded into this competition, removed from his sanctuary high within far off, peaceful mountains by his ancestral companion who also made rare appearances within the arena. The frustrating drone in the back of his mind purposefully kept his abilities dimmed, keeping him more _'fair'_ in light of the other competitors. He was one of the _'tamed'_ fighters, and it was only through some measure of grace he had not known was apart of his character that he put up with the restrictions.

"Fairy!"

"Shit,_ shit_, _**shit!!**_" A high shriek of frustration laced through the air as a blond woman in a puffy pink dress was sent sailing through the air to her elimination. A way-ward explosion which had been aimed for the more irritating opponent had missed, and blasted her off her feet and into the air.

"Fairied it!!"

"Fucky-nooo!!" A piece of the stadium's rocky terrain broke away at the inopportune moment, a meteor strike gone wrong as the spiked version of the normally plush and pink dream warrior dropped like a dead weight down to his final elimination.

Fairy was the affectionate and overly annoying name given to an intensely acrobatic move which made the user look incredibly stupid, but its effectiveness was unparalleled in this match. The short, stocky little man in his flowing white coat and metal disc strapped to his forehead was apparently a master at it, bending his back in ways an old man should never have been able to without serious medical aid, his gloved hands flung out behind him and his legs limply held out behind his horizontal form. It was only an act of pure luck to be able to still strike him if he pulled off the pose at the correct time.

And the bastard could pull it off on a whim…

Sweet salvation, right before his thin violet eyes, a flash of complex coding and a bit of stage smoke brought another item into play for the competitors, now only the two of them left. The stage was spinning again, slowly but enough to unbalance the unwary.

It was blatantly yellow, a terrible eye-sore as its five-pointed bulk shone with such intensity that it hurt to look at. The star however held an intensive power all it's own, the caliber of which could send even a healthy opponent out into the stands if used correctly.

The cat's attention was immediately pulled towards the sound of a high, startled yelp, his opponent dropping from sight as he lost his balance. Sweet Mew it was as though the figmented gods were on his side at long last! The perfect opportunity, and so well within his range; failure was impossible!

'_Fairy __**this**__!!'_

Both three-fingered hands shot out at the star even as his mind gripped it solidly, his warped, grey and violet form clinging to the star for dear life as it abruptly began to spin and roll violently with barely contained energy. His stomach lurched terribly, and he ducked his head down, one eye only half open to make sure he could still strike his opponent, before the entire world blurred in a tirade of colour, sound, speed, and thrilling adrenaline.

His vision returned only a mere instant before the final moments of the battle, the star bringing him straight down with deadly speed towards the spinning arena. He gulped despite himself as he saw the gurgling lava bubbling away directly below him, but the nervous feeling vanished instantly as the doctor, stunned by his opponent's disappearance, somersaulted backwards… directly into his flight path.

Victory…

"_**Fairy!!"**_

Oh, fucky-n--!

"Game!"

**When in the air, press either the L or R button to perform the **_**'Fairy'**_** Move. It allows you to dodge virtually any manner of attack provided it's timed correctly, including the Warp Star. Technically it's referred to as an Arial Dodge, but my friends and I first discovered its true power when one of our friends was playing as Mario. Mario and Dr. Mario's Dodges make them look like comical fairies. Thus the name.**

**I can't honestly imagine Kirby using any version of the F-word, but still xD**


	4. Inevitable

**It's a real shame that Necro and I let this account lie- Brawl's coming out and we know the fandom's getting ready to explode- but what the hey!

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**Chapter 5 **

Inevitable

The fans filed into the darkened stadium and awaited the announcement regarding who would be participating that night. One by one the challengers were teleported into the rocky double-sided arena, dwarfed by the incredible monster swaying and screaming in the background.

The first competitor materialized from the dressing room, a young woman with golden hair curled behind her ears and the hem of her flowing pink gown swirling around her ankles. She always was the one finding herself in the clutches of the next participant: a rather large reptile living inside a green spiked shell. It was a themed match it seemed- especially considering the next two on the platform.

A man and his riding companion, the former a stout Italian clothed in blue overalls and a bright red shirt and cap. The latter was somewhat startling in appearance, a bulbous nose taking over the bulk of his round happy face, and duck-like tail protruding from behind him as he resembled a cuddly green dinosaur. The two had been together since the man's childhood, when as the infant he had been dropped on the reptile's island.

The combatants took their spots and waited for…

"**_GO!_**"

The four players lingered for only a moment before the match was underway. A Single-Life, Four-man, Free For All, the difference this time around being that the items had been restricted to the more blunt objects. The small, big-nosed pig-like creature affectionately named Mr. Saturn already had several copies of himself waddling across the uneven volcanic terrain.

"Yoshi!" Shrieking his own name in a duck-like warble, the green beast threw himself into the air, kicking his small red-booted feet as though peddling a bicycle to carry himself higher into the air, performing a swooping motion to land up on the platform which had been over his head. The platform was instantly vacated of the plumber's stocky form, crimson and gold flames swirling around his hands as he leapt once towards the spiked tortes.

Bowser did not take kindly to having such an abrupt challenge made before him, jumping back from the flaming man until his wide girth was over the frail girl who'd been positioned behind him. Curling his thick legs under himself, knees drawn up against his muscled chest, the koopa let himself drop like a dead weight towards her, letting out a challenging snarl as his eyes were on the approaching man and not his intended victim.

Well, Peach took no better to the attack on her than Bowser had the one on him. Side stepping back with the pink of her skirts swishing in an overtly feminine manner, it was as if by magic that one slim gloved hand vanished behind her back. A moment later, Bowser was howling in outrage as a masterfully swung golf club connected with the soft base of his exposed tail. Twisting in midair as the strike had kept him from landing properly, the beast's limbs vanished inside the protective interior of his shell, the casing spinning menacingly up and away from the two smaller combatants. He'd take out the dinosaur instead.

Smug with how she had dispatched Bowser, Peach let out a startled shriek as the crimson flames of her hero shot up in her face, singeing the ends of her hair and blackening the tips of her gloved fingers before she was able to leap back in surprise. Regrettably, she wasn't swift enough, Mario's adept hands locking around her wrists, and she let out a shriek of her own.

"Don't you _dare-!_" To late for arguments, the Princess felt the blood rush to her feet as she was roughly swung by her wrists three times, the world blurring before the distinctly sickening sensation of being sent flying overcame her. The edges of any arena in the competition were clearly marked by white lines which signaled the ends of all holograms and stage work, beyond them was always various layers of very safe and secure netting, and needed medical treatment.

Of course, she didn't need any such treatment, not yet at least. Twisting in the air, a sparkle of magic was let loose from the palms of both her hands, twinkling lights spilling from the gold belt around her hips and shimmering down the lengths of her skirt. Pulling her knees up in a seated position, the Princess felt herself lightening drastically, hands out in front and behind her as she began making her return to the spinning platform. When she had arrived so many had expected her to be beyond one of the weakest players, but she'd learned enough over the past season, and so had they. _Almost_ eliminating a floating opponent is not the same as actually doing so.

Regrettably, the distance Mario had flung her was a dangerously long one. But with the current position of the stadium, currently with its widest edges serving as the top and bottom, she'd be just fine.

"Yoshiiii!!" Like a shot, a trail of smoke was visible from where a duel effort from both Mario and Bowser sent a flaming Smasher flying towards the upper arena edge, blinding white tinted with a bit of green rocketing down from his exit point, the crowd screaming in approval as the two remaining began duking it out with flames scoring the ground from both sides.

Peach could feel her face heating at the indignation of being tossed from the battle so easily, but then something more important began to catch her attention. The sparkles streaming from her belt began to flicker off and die, and with a very sharp and bitter curse, the spell ended.

"Not yet!" She blurted sharply, allowing herself to loose a bit of height to avoid an ill-thrown Mr. Saturn from the angered tortes. In a manner similar to how she had summoned the golf club before, Peach found a burst of power at her toes, her form being launched several feet higher in the air as her parasol opened wide, slowing her down to a lazy drift…

…just as the level started spinning.

"No. Absolutely not." But of course, definitly; where there should have been solid stone for her to land and make a comeback, the movement of the level left her with… air. And far below that, elimination.

Straining as well as one can while gripping the handle of an umbrella, the Princess tried to come as close to the volcanic rock as was humanly possible. But of course, the dragon far beyond them continued to shriek and scream, all the automated numbers lining up to keep the level spinning precariously and sending the enraged Bowser scrambling and slipping uselessly from the steep edge towards the boundary.

No where to land.

"Peach!" Looking up, just beyond the rim of her parasol, the blond-woman could see a flash of red and blue, the arena now slowly spinning itself so as to be placed over her head, her form still slowly sinking towards the lower edge of the stadium.

With Bowser bitterly tending his wounds in the locker-room with a dazed and confused green dinosaur, Mario found the ample time to perform one simple act. He smiled in an oh-so-sweet manner, and said.

"You can't escape the inevitable!"

"Mario, you fuc-"

"**_GAME!_**"

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**Peach's Up-B attack HURTS. She rams her parasol up into the air and is very likely to catch you in an unpleasant manner, and after she flies up, the parasol opens and she begins to float back down to the arena. However, if there is no arena to be found, she just keeps floating… floating… floating… GAME! **


End file.
